From joel@schrodinger.n-space.com.au Fri Mar 24 12:22:17 2000 Newsgroups: rec.games.roguelike.nethack Subject: [RGRNCA] Re: EArn CAsh $$ References: <38d9afc8@dnews.tpgi.com.au> From: Joel Gluth X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.5/XEmacs 20.4 - "Emerald" Date: 24 Mar 2000 14:57:44 +1030 Message-ID: <874s9xvvpb.fsf@schrodinger.n-space.com.au> Lines: 74 NNTP-Posting-Host: external.n-space.com.au X-Trace: 24 Mar 2000 14:56:47 +1050, external.n-space.com.au Path: ousrvr3.oulu.fi!newsfeed2.funet.fi!newsfeed3.funet.fi!newsfeed1.funet.fi!newsfeed1.telenordia.se!news.algonet.se!algonet!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!news.ecn.ou.edu!news1.optus.net.au!optus!yorrell.saard.net!duster.adelaide.on.net!external.n-space.com.au Xref: ousrvr3.oulu.fi rec.games.roguelike.nethack:103996 "Julian" writes: > Hey Everyone, > > All you have to do is register (use a hotmail account if you want) then you > get paid in American $ for each email you receive, delete it don't even read > it, it doesn't matter. It will help pay for your internet account, beers > whatever. > > http://www.spammerhavn.com/id/619971 There is a hushed, shocked silence across the Minetown Bar as the drunken zombie staggers through the door, raving incoherently about some kind of new Mail Demon Dancing venture. This is a new one, indeed. The bouncers are used to d00dz, Cr3t1nz, and their ilk, mistakenly thinking they've found a hive of scum and villainy to get someone else to do small acts of, well, scum and villainy because they're too lazy to work it out themselves, or go out and mine the gold they'll need to buy scrolls of Photoshop or whatever. This is a slightly rarer, slightly more pathetic specimen, the Usenet Spam Zombie. Everyone looks at each other, wondering what awful fate will befall the interloper. There is a slight *clak* as a customer at the back sets down his glass of scotch and rises almost apologetically to his feet. It is an unfamiliar figure for a bar brawl, but those nearby instinctively shuffle their chairs backwards as they eye the smoothly curved wooden stick loosely gripped in the stranger's left hand. Passing his right hand across his body to grip the end of the stick just above where it is held by his left, the stranger seems to breathe in, then out, once. By the time the exhalation is complete, the stranger is suddenly standing *behind* the Spam Zombie, right knee almost touching the floor, left arm extended back and still holding most of the stick. His right arm is at right angles to it, holding what appears to be the other end. From this handle (for this it turns out to be), projects three and a half feet of... Something. Something shiny, probably metallic, but beyond that it's impossible to tell, since in a blur, the stranger returns to his feet, whisking it back into the housing from whence it emerged. Sunlight flashes once, and is gone. He leans over and examines one of the many stamps and stickers adhering to the Spam Zombie, indicating various dances it has had with mail demons in the past. "TPG Internet, eh? We'll just have to see..." He returns to his seat and resumes his conversation with the wizardly fellow at the back, mentioning something about "so sharp, it takes a while for them to figure out whether they're dead or not" as the Zombie shambles out the door, tentatively poking at its midriff. The Sword of Uncertainty is still, unfortunately, the weapon of choice against the Usenet Smap Zombie. Its operation depends on the goodwill of the ISP Gods, but its effectiveness grows by the day. Conversations resume all around the bar as there is a somewhat muffled shriek from outside, followed shortly by two distinct thuds. > If you don't like it then quit Oh, I doubt I'll do that anytime soon. Gotta go buy me an assault rifle, though. Hack on hack on hack on, -- Joel Gluth // Software Engineer, N-space. http://www.n-space.com.au "I am in a state of grace with my enthusiasms; a state of sublimely tensioned grace." -- Iain Banks, _Use of Weapons_