From: wwwwolf@iki.fi Subject: [RGRNCA] A brutal display of violence (wuz: Re: OEM Version Half life. ) Date: 29 Oct 1998 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: <71aglb$ekj@idefix.eunet.fi> X-TJ: 64 - A Commodore day... and Nintendo... X-YiffCode: Yiff1.0Mhet P-- Z-- T! S+ V+ H(wolf,*)+ aIr Organization: WWWWolf's Den X-FurryCode: FCWm3adm A+C-DH+M+PR+T++W-ZSm RLU a19cl+++d-ef+h*i++p-sm Newsgroups: rec.games.roguelike.nethack (Once again, I'm not coming back yet. I would be *really* happy if I could come back now, believe it or not. I just need to blow off some steam right now. OK? Oh, and what comes to the size of this message, some of you might blow your nerves. So, I hope your tag-killer worked this time if you didn't wanted this message...) -------- [A severely annoyed lupine figure slams the Nethack Cafe door open. Some seem to be glad when they see who comes in, some seem to be extermely annoyed. And one particular person who has finished shouting seems to be struck by sheer horror. The wolf-man walks slowly forward toward the counter. The only sounds you can hear in the dimly lit room are the paces, the usual September rain noise from outside, and some random snatches of conversation from corners of the room.] Jashpar, one Earl Grey tea, not stirred, not shaken, just as it is. No milk either. ::WWWWolf doesn't seem to regard the d00d at all. He just sits on a chair, and sips his tea.:: Oh what a week. A week in the darn camp - all the snow, ice, *water*, and such. Ajoon? Mä hajoon. TUKOM 31-30 450 AM... Well, I suppose that the things could have been worse. [The d00d starts quietly walking away, as if trying to sneak away while the watchhound (well, a member of the canid family, anyway) is not regarding him. Wrong. Suddently WWWWolf pokes the d00d to back with Kewlashnikow RK200bt's barrel.] Trying to sneak away, huh? And what you said, anyway? ("Bedevere" posted thus in Tue, 27 Oct 1998 23:10:52 +0100:) >Where can I get it? >what's the adress? >thx =) Oh, the *game*. Well, well, well... An OEM version of Half Life. Hmm, I haven't heard of such game. Wait! I remember the game now. Hey, do you know that you are looking for a game that fits perfectly for you. Half Life. Well, I suppose you want a Half Life - you don't seem to have any Life at all, so a Half Life will be better than nothing. But hey, while you're it, you might provide me some information before I kill -9 you. (Fade to black) [RGRNCA Propaganda for Civilians department logo appears, and the words "Believe the Propaganda" appear, letter by letter, under the logo. Music starts playing - a random collection of Finnish marches.] [male Voice Over:] Welcome to RGRNCA newsflash and information break. Today, we will see what Weyfour WWWWolf, the current RGRNCA Commander, has been doing recently. [A general view from high above the battleground - the place seems to be ruined village. It's night. Some random humans and furries, with RGRNCA uniforms, RK200's and combat gear, hide behind the rocky slope, and armed kids with ragged clothes hide in the ruins. There seems to be about 500m of clear space between the troops. It's dead quiet, and nothing happens.] [A close-up of two human RGRNCA troopers who are lying in a well-camouflaged foxhole that is apparently used as a guard/lookout post. One of the troopers (number 1 henceforth) is examining the battlefield with night binoculars.] [Trooper 2, whispering:] Do you see him? [Trooper 1:] Yep. He's there. [A view through the binoculars. WWWWolf is crawling towards the d00d positions, and is about 200m away from the nearest d00d guard post. WWWWolf sits on the ground and points at the d00ds with his rifle. The view returns to the troopers.] [Trooper 1:] He's signalling. "Any offers for a RK200, made in 1998, and it's in good condition? The gentleman to east has offered 1000 credits." [Trooper 2:] He's going to attack. I'll alarm the others... [Trooper 1:] Wait! ... He's signalling that he's going there... alone. [Trooper 2:] Whew. I guess he must be really p%&$/# off. [Sounds of assault rifle fire can be heard from the ruins.] [The d00d ruins in broad daylight. A horde of d00ds is trying to hide in the ruins, and some are futilely trying to attack the lupine killing machine who has relentlessly fired and changed clips for last few hours. Some d00ds are retreating, and hundreds of d00d bodies litter the floors and ground.] [Close-up of WWWWolf. He places another clip to the rifle, loads the rifle and starts running at the nearest d00ds, screaming "Tuuuuulltaaaa muuuuniiiiillleeeee" and firing like a maniac. Some d00ds fall, and suddently Wulf stops firing because he can't see any more d00ds.] [WWWWolf:] Come on... More... Come on... [Static sound from headset:] Commander Base. ::WWWWolf presses the tangent of the headset.:: Commander. [Base:] It seems that the d00ds have disappeared. Hell of a good job, but why the heck you went there alone? [WWWWolf:] Well, I was so damn annoyed, tired, and this happened mostly because I just needed to do so! [Fade out. Newsreader appears.] [Newsreader:] Indeed, the Commander has been in the Finnish Defence Force, and thus he has been unable to keep up his work in RGRNCA. But what has he been doing in the Army? [General view of the interviewing room, with the newsreader and WWWWolf sitting on chairs.] [WWWWolf:] We have toyed with mortars... and my speciality is *officially* the communications equipment, but in reality, my area also includes the pressure lamps. I'm the local pyromaniac and Tilley / Hipólito expert. [Newsreader:] What is it like to serve in the Army? [WWWWolf:] Nice, sometimes even fun, but also rough. And I have learned many new things. Including that there *really* are *many* people in Real Life that would make *perfect* Usenet trolls. [Newsreader:] I've heard you've been wounded. Is that true? [WWWWolf, showing his right arm:] Sure, twice. Just look at these scars. Wounded twice, both times while waiting for my share of food. [Close-up of the newsreader.] [Newsreader:] Thank you for the interview. And please, if you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask! The Commander can be reached via E-mail... - Signed, Cmdr WWWWolf (aka. infantryman Lankinen UOI, KrhK, KaiPr) of rec.games.roguelike.nethack CR3T1NZ advisory (Mobile Unit), Vestrum Excrucibo (Our battlecry: "Wrong Newsgroup, pal!") -- WWWWolf (known to some as Urpo Lankinen), just another lupine technomancer ICQ:4291042 -==(RGRNCA)==-