From wwwwolf@iki.fi Sat Apr 25 13:16:58 1998 Path: news.eunet.fi!wwwwolf From: wwwwolf@iki.fi (Urpo Lankinen) Newsgroups: rec.games.roguelike.nethack Subject: Typical Day of a Mobile Unit Commander (wuz: Re: Hacking History wanted !) Date: 24 Apr 1998 16:36:27 GMT Organization: WWWWolf's den Lines: 92 Message-ID: References: <6hl50m$9lo$1@news00.btx.dtag.de> <6hlq8b$hha$1@talia.mad.ibernet.es> <6hod11$46r$1@news01.btx.dtag.de> NNTP-Posting-Host: wwwwolf.pp.fi X-Newsreader: slrn (0.9.4.3 UNIX) [Warning - contains narration and roleplaying. Sort of.] Elokuvatarkastamo: K-14 (Probably. I really can't say. It might be K-16.) (ten second thing from the start of a movie) *bip* Tramtram tramtram trrrramtam (20th Century Fox Presents...) Tattadadaa tatatatatatattadadatatatatatatatatatattadadaaa (and so on) [Black backround, titles: "Fox presents" - "A r.g.r.n CR3T1NZ advisory production" - "THE REPEATED OFFENSE -OR- TYPICAL DAY OF A MOBILE UNIT COMMANDER" - "Starring: Urpo Lankinen, R*** A************ and various others" - "Directed by Urpo Lankinen"] [Fade in] ::It's raining outside of the Nethack Cafe of the Usenet World. It's always September in the Usenet World, and of course, when the flamewars start, you need a lot of water. Before we knew, the storm was upon us - the pouring rain makes pools of mud to the ground, and the thunderstorm rages on the skies. WWWWolf, An anthropomorphic wolf, dressed in trench coat and an old, ragged fedora (whip got replaced with a bytesaber), leaves his bicycle lying on the ground and scurries quickly to the verandah. "Drats", he thinks, "If the signs are this bad, this is gonna be a looooong Usenet session ahead." He pushes the door of the Nethack Cafe open and peeks in. Inside, he sees many familiar people discussing about the game - and then he hears a strangely familiar voice. A voice he doesn't like very much. He sheds the trench coat, revealing the uniform worn by the troopers of the r.g.r.n CR3T1NZ advisory Mobile Unit. He tosses the coat to the coat rack and enters the commons room to inspect the noise.:: On 23 Apr 1998 21:49:21 GMT, R*** A************ wrote: ::"Drats, it's that 3l1t3-history fella again", he thinks. "I think I have to start driving the clue in much more harder. Like, actually mailing the Jargon File to him this time.":: >>Go to the Happy Hacker webpage. >Where can I find them ? ::WWWWolf sees the infamous R*** "Hacking History" A************ speaking with another person in the corner. He growls, leaps across the room, tackles the cretin, gets up, gets a good grip from the 3l1t3deAuD's neck and pulls him closer.:: Still sneaking around and spamming sewage around the Usenet, you regexping mindless blob of rotting pear pulp? ::grrrrrrowls and flashes his teeth:: Most of you just vanish just like that when they notice that spammage to r.g.r.n was a Bad Idea, and they will notice that sooner or later when they anger the hell out of me... But you decided to do something far more annoying than... ::glares the cretin deep into his eyes:: just... ::gets a better grip:: making... ::lifts the cretin into air:: me... ::growls:: angry! Believe me. I don't care whether or not you want to continue spamming about the 3l11Tt1history stuff. But if you do - and this is important - drop rec.games.roguelike.nethack from the Newsgroup line OR ELSE! Hey, it's easy and fun, and people will not flame you! And why do you need that history of hacking, anyway? I might kill you right now, here, but I will not do things like that... Hey, My friend here has a zombie process in his machine - ::another penetrating glaze deep into the cretin's eyes:: - And I hope you already know what zombie processes do when they get released among the mortals? ::WWWWolf releases the grip, and the blue-faced cretin collapses to the ground.:: I might even mail this this time. Who knows. ::grabs the keyboard:: Run now, fast, or I will release the zombie process. ::types some random commands and holds his right paw above the keyboard, pointing at the enter key with forefinger:: Ten... Nine... Eight... [Fade to black, with text: "TO BE CONTINUED." End credits.] - Signed, WWWWolf of rec.games.roguelike.nethack CR3T1NZ advisory (Mobile Unit), Vestrum Excrucibo (Our battlecry: "Wrong Newsgroup, pal!") -- \ \ \ \ / _ | |\ Urpo Lankinen \/\\/\\/\\/\/ (_)| |- ICQ 4291042 FCWm3adm A+ C- D H+ M+ P R+ T++ W- Z Sm RLU a18 cl+++ d- e f h* i++ p- sm